


c☆rrot

by michinyeogay



Category: BTOB, Mamamoo, Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, F/F, Fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-04
Updated: 2018-08-09
Packaged: 2018-08-12 22:53:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7952401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/michinyeogay/pseuds/michinyeogay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I need to convince my parents that I’m not lonely, miserable and most of all, gay! I’m twenty-five, for fuck’s sake! And I haven’t had one solid relationship that lasted more than three months."</p><p>In which Wheein and Hyejin introduce a one of a kind dating app to their single friend, Kim Yongsun.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. ☆

Yongsun forgets easily. A sign of old age or a daydreaming mind, she isn’t quite sure. All she knows is that her make-up feels cakey and she hates the sales lady that talked her into buying their new revolutionary product yesterday. She would’ve looked more put together, had she used her usual foundation routine.

 

Like promises people leave, it claimed to minimize pores, provide high coverage but still manage to feel like nothing. But she feels like a layer of oil is sitting on top of her face. Perhaps it is a sign that she should bail out on her blind date, seeing as she did look quite hideous. Or perhaps it is a sign that she should learn to say no in the first place.

 

Trying to salvage her face, she washes it all off in the bathroom of the restaurant in where the date is to take place. Making sure her date hasn’t arrived yet, she uses the time she has left to at least look decent. Her friends surely made an effort to set her up with a decent guy. The least she can do now is make sure he doesn’t tell his friends that she’s the worst date he’s ever had.

 

Fresh and feeling more confident, she exits the bathroom and takes a seat on the opposite side of their table. It had already been reserved beforehand. Her date texts her that he will be late for a good fifteen minutes. She waits patiently, ordering today’s soup to calm her rumbling stomach.

 

He is a man in his mid twenties, clean cut and shaven with a goofy smile and a nice laugh. Crows feet decorate the corners of his eyes and his hands are clammy when they shook hands. He works as a call center agent and has only dated once in his life for six years.

 

The night starts light with common questions Yongsun has already answered several of times before. It comes automatic, her responses and although his voice is nice and soothing, he is dull and dry.

 

Ending the date in an uplifting note, she promises to text him. He laughs, shakes hands with her again and even comes in for a hug. Too late for her to push him away, she complies. He smells sweat and baby powder. It sticks on her clothes all the way home.

 

\----

 

“Was the dessert good at least?”

 

Over the phone are her best friends, Wheein and Hyejin, ask her. She is on loud speaker, since they speak to her at the same time, asking for details about last night’s date. All Yongsun could give them were sighs and a shake of her head.

 

“Guys…” She starts, running her fingers through her hair. “I don’t think that this will make me any less…” Stopping, she tries to look for the right words to say. She comes up with none, just letting the word hang heavy in the air.

 

Wheein’s laugh is loud and clear. “Gay?”

 

“Thank you,” Yongsun says in defeat.

 

Hyejin butts in, her soft and husky voice calming. “You were the one that requested a blind date,” she says in an amused and teasing tone.

 

“ _Look_.” Yongsun rises up from her bed, placing her hand on her forehead. “I need to convince my parents that I’m not lonely, miserable and most of all, gay! I’m twenty-five, for fuck’s sake! And I haven’t had one solid relationship that lasted more than three months. My sister,” pausing, she lets out a small, frustrated groan. “Is _twenty-two_ and is already getting married! She’s been dating that prick since _middle school_.”

 

In just a few weeks, Yongsun plans to visit her hometown,  _Ujangsan_. Although her parents didn’t imply they were expecting her to bring someone, her mother’s constant nagging is a clear reminder. They are expecting a reason for her absence in most family-related events the past few years, and her telling them that she was fed up with her sister’s bragging isn’t a good enough reason. 

 

She was seven when the horrific realization that she wasn't completely straight slapped her across the face. Her best friend at that time, Bae Joohyun, was pretty and smart. They held hands in school and was always around each other. At a moment where they happened to stare at each other, she moved in for a kiss. It was a kiss that just screamed right. However,  Joohyun had never looked at her the same and still continues to ignore her to this day.

 

Meeting Wheein in her first year (Hyejin in her second) of college was an unexpected blessing. Her friends were out and open about their sexual orientation. Their I-don’t-give-a-fuck attitude continuously rubbed off on her until now.  And Yongsun is tired of hiding who she truly is.

 

Deeming their family reunion the perfect time to come out, she thought it is easier to come with a girlfriend. However, girls didn’t seem to think that she swings that way. Hence her very clean (read: non-existent) dating record. Hyejin had commented that she didn't have an small percentage of gay in her body.

 

“How about we introduce _the thing_ to her…” Hyejin slithers in, breaking Yongsun’s train of thought.

 

“Hm?” Yongsun inquires, suddenly alert.

 

“You think she’s desperate enough for that?” Wheein bursts out, cackling.

 

“ _Yah_!” Yongsun shouts, offended.

 

She hears the rustling in the background and then Wheein’s voice, loud and clear saying, “Well, there is this app…”

 

“Don’t play with me, Jung Wheein! I’m not downloading another nasty dating a--!” Yongsun almost shrieks, having had very bad experience with it before.

 

“Listen first, okay?” Hyejin cuts in.

 

“Thank you, baby. Okay. So there’s this app that’s been circulating around the community. It’s like the “invisible boyfriend/girlfriend” texting thing that first got popular in the US. They decided to bring it here to Korea, but this time made an app so it's more convenient.”

 

“So…” Yongsun starts, trying to process everything. “It’s like a virtual relationship? I could’ve just made a freaking avatar in some random game, found someone to flirt with there and told my parents that I am dating someone. The purpose will be the same.”

 

Wheein laughs and Yongsun is beyond done with her friends laughing at her. “ _Silly_. You actually get to text them and once or twice a week you get voicemail messages. There is also a Skype function but it’s still being developed.”

 

“Oh.” Ideas pooled inside of her head at her friend’s words. This would mean that, without having to find an actual somebody, she could show convince her parents that she had a girlfriend. She can come up with an excuse as to why her girlfriend won’t be able to come to the family reunion. If they ask for more information about the girl, she could flawlessly make up their whole love story. “Then why are you telling me this if it’s still developed?”

 

“There is an open beta. And...well...my friend is part of the team that works for it. So they asked me to try it.”

 

“She doesn’t really need it,” Hyejin says flatly and she could hear the sound of lips meeting.

 

_Gross. But also when can I have someone kiss me even after saying stupid shit?_

 

By this time, Yongsun has stood up and is pacing around the carpeted floor of her room. “I can try it, then?”

 

“Yup!” Wheein chirps. “I’m going to ask my friend for the link. We can all meet up tomorrow and help you create the girl of your dreams!”

 

“Eugh. This better work, Wheein.”

 

“Honey, it will.”

 

\---

 

Nervous and unsure, Yongsun starts her Sunday doing her usual routine. She does yoga at six am, feeds her dog and makes breakfast. But her mind wanders. Especially when she glances at her phone.

 

An app that will help her convince her parents that she wasn’t as single, lonely and unattractive (ouch) as they thinks she is.

 

An app that will help her come out to her parents without anyone (unfortunately) getting involved.

 

An app...

 

If she heard anyone else propose this deal, she would have been seen laughing. It is, however, very convenient. Especially for her.

 

No strings attached, no people involved and probably less dramatic as well. If her family ask more in depth details, she will tell them they have a long distance relationship and met while “she” was visiting Korea. They shared a fiery and passionate love despite her short stay and agreed to wait until her next visit.

 

Then she will tell them that her girlfri-- _appfriend_ had broken it off due to the unbearable distance between them if they start being suspicious. Strangely, it seemed like her best and quickest option at the moment. 

 

“Yes, that’s right. She didn’t love me enough to endure the distance so she broke it off.”

 

Yongsun nods to herself as she changed into casual clothes, fresh from the shower. Just as she is about to dry her hair, she hears the doorbell chime.

 

Only three people will come to her house at this time so she isn’t even surprised.

 

“Coming!”

 

Quickly, she half jogs towards the door, seeing two familiar faces on the small screen. She presses a button and opens the door, her face solemn yet her friends’ a complete contrast.

 

Hyejin and Wheein enter, their fingers interlaced and instead of greeting her, they enter her apartment and sit on the couch. As always, they were busy bickering about something. This time, it is about the latest zombie movie.

 

“The buff husband didn’t deserve to die.”

 

“I can’t believe the asshole was one of the last ones to die!!!” Wheein shouts, throwing her hands in the air.

 

Hyejin laughs, pinching her girlfriend on the cheek. “Cute. You cried during the movie, didn’t you?”

 

“As if you didn’t!” The younger of the two answers defensively, lower lip jutting out.

 

“ _Ahem._ ”

 

The two of them turn -- eerily so -- at the same time. “Yes?” The two ask in unison.

 

“Good morning?” She asks sarcastically, approaching the both of them. “How are you, Yongsun? Are we going forward with our plan to help you come out to your parents and possibly ruin your entire life, Yongsun? Did you eat breakfast, Yongsun?”

 

Hyejin is the first to come to, patting Wheein’s arm. “Ah right,” she agrees. “Did you send her the apk file before we left?”

 

Wheein nods. “Yes, I did.” She turns towards Yongsun, smiling. “Open your email and click the download link.”

 

Yongsun eyebrows furrow and the couple scoot a bit, making space for her on the couch. She sits down, doing as she was told.

 

“It’s downloading,” she announces.

 

“Good. It’s not really rocket science so you don’t really need us here. But we thought we’d just stop by for...emotional lesbian support.”

 

“Plus, you make bad decisions all the time,” Wheein adds in a chirpy tone.

 

“I am supposed to take offense to this, right? Because I feel really offended right now.” Yongsun glares at her best friend meaningfully.

 

“Well,” Wheein starts to say. “If you look at your _almost_ dating history…”

 

“Oh! Oh! Remember Eunkwa--”

 

“AND IT FINISHED DOWNLOADING!!!” Yongsun cuts Hyejin off abruptly, pressing the app’s icon. “It’s named…’c☆rrot’? That’s a cute name.”

 

The three huddle close together, looking at the screen of Yongsun’s phone.

 

“Whoever named it didn’t want its purpose to be obvious.” Hyejin comments. “Could’ve just been a new alternative for katalk or line.”

 

They are greeted with a sleek black and white interface, the words “welcome” appearing momentarily on the center of the screen. Yongsun is prompted to type her name and she does, after looking at her friends for confirmation.

 

She doesn’t know why she feels nervous. 

 

 _It’s just an app_ , she reminds herself.

 

The phone vibrates, the registration process (she assumes it is the registration process) continuing as she types in more of her personal info. They are all silent when she is then asked of her personal preferences when it came to physical appearances.

 

“Wait,” she stops, biting the inside of her cheek. “What if I don’t have a specific type?”

 

“See what I mean when I said you make bad choices or actually, none at all in the most crucial times?” Wheein says, rolling her eyes and taking the phone away from Yongsun. “Why are you so indecisive?”

 

“Hey! I wasn’t finished!”

 

“I’ll do it. As your best friend, I know what kind of woman will suit you.” Wheein says, tapping away answers to multiple answer questions.

 

“Just let her,” Hyejin squeezes Yongsun’s hand, giving her an understanding smile. “She’s been dying to try it herself but I stopped her.”

 

“Why?” Yongsun inquires. “It’s just an app???”

 

“Ah well…”

 

Yongsun wants to ask Hyejin another question because of her sad expression but Wheein is already squealing.

 

“OH MY GOD SHE IS SO CUTE!!!” Wheein says, grabbing Yongsun’s arm forcefully, holding up her friend’s phone to her face. “LOOK!!!”

 

Yongsun’s eyes widen and she shakes away Wheein’s hand on her arm, slowly prying her phone away from her fingers. “I swear if this looks remotely like--”

 

The screen shows the result of Wheein’s choices earlier. Moon Byulyi appears to be a default name for the girlfriend option of the app. Wheein had also chosen skateboarding, cooking and travelling as Byulyi’s hobbies. She is younger than Yongsun by a year, and is born in December. Her personality section says that she is a bit on the flirtatious side and is easily likable. Her negative traits seems to only be her sensitivity and her stubbornness.

 

She couldn’t believe it but Wheein is right. Her girlfri -- _appfriend_ \-- was indeed adorable. A small square in the screen shows her “profile picture”. Yongsun notes that she has androgynous features, her face serious. She couldn’t help but laugh and wonder how she looks like smiling, even if she isn’t a real person. Her hair is dyed an ash blonde, making her features more striking. For some reason, Yongsun stops to look at her eyes that seem to smile at her despite her whole expression being serious.

 

“Don’t tell me you’re already falling in love with your girlfriend?” Wheein teases, nudging her.

 

“Appfriend.” Yongsun clears her throat. “And I know this person isn’t real. They did very well photoshopping the picture to look like a real person.”

 

“Why don’t you do a test run?” Hyejin suggests. “The app includes a texting feature at first and you’ll get a call within the end of the first week.”

 

“Oh yeah!” Wheein nods. “You should totally try it.”

 

Yongsun looks down at her phone, closing Moon Byulyi’s profile and selecting the messaging feature. She thinks of a dozen things to say, feeling pressured.

 

                                   - Hello there.

 

“That’s all you’re going to say?”

 

“I guess there won’t be any action then. Let’s go home, Wheein.”

 

“IT’S OUR FIRST TIME INTERACTING DO YOU EXPECT ME TO FLIRT WITH HER RIGHT AWAY?” Yongsun asks in her defense.

 

“Uh yes.” Hyejin answers quickly.

 

“Well duh? What’s the point of the app if you’re not going to flirt with her? ” Wheein crosses her arms against her chest, arching a brow and daring Yongsun to disagree.

 

“...Okay fine.” Yongsun says, defeated. They’re right. This is the purpose of the app. Who is she to go against its purpose?

 

She is about to type something more when the phone vibrates.

 

                                    **-** **So cold to your girlfriend ㅠㅠ**

  
**\- I missed you a lot, _unnie_ ~ ♡**

 

“It just called me _unnie_.” Yongsun says, in shock.

 

“Yup. ‘Cause you’re an older female. Of course you’re an _unnie_. Aren't you Korean?” Hyejin asks.

 

Yongsun swallows a little, feeling more excited than she should. “Right.”

 

“Reply to her!” Wheein says, smiling widely.

 

Yongsun thinks of a suitable reply for a few minutes, thinking thoroughly. The answers would have to be generic since it is an app. Still, she wants to try and see how generic they really were.

 

                                    - What do you like about unnie? I missed you too!

 

In a matter of seconds, another reply bubble pops up

 

                                    **\- Your angelic smile melts my heart everyday! ♡.♡**

 

“Oh my God the grease. How do you guys expect me to handle this?”

 

Hyejin and Wheein had fallen into a pit of infinite laughter and giggles. And Yongsun couldn’t help but laugh as well at this ridiculous game they are planning. It takes them a few minutes to get back to reality. Her friends were crazy. Rather than feeling as if their plan is totally ridiculous, Yongsun starts to feel as if it might just work.

 

After a few more texts exchanged between her and appfriend (she still can’t get used to calling it by its name), she learns that while the questions seem something like a robot will say they aren’t that bad. They’re alright considering she plans on telling her family they have only been dating for half a year.

 

She makes the story more solid with the help of Hyejin and Wheein, knowing that her mother will contact them once the cat is out of the bag. She can already imagine the disbelief in her tone. Immediately, she feels insulted. Her mother always had a knack of making her feel as if she’s going to live her life in the shadow of her sister.

 

Once their plan is solidified, the couple take their leave. Yongsun is left alone with her phone heavy in her small hands. She looks at it, Moon Byulyi’s profile, and sighs.

 

“What a desperate move,” she whispers, standing up from the couch to continue her day.


	2. ☆

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the voice mail feature is unlocked. how will yongsun feel about hearing her appfriend's voice?

The feeling of regret overwhelms her the next two days. Only because she always finds her notifications filled with messages she receives from Byulyi. They range from simple greetings, reminders to eat and sleep properly and other things which frankly, makes her heart race.

 

She makes sure to reply with enough enthusiasm (in the event that she would need to show these texts to her sister) in her small breaks and is satisfied with the replies she receives from Byulyi. It amuses her to think that all of this is coming from someone who isn’t even real.

 

Yongsun remembers Wheein checking up on her before she went to work on Thursday and gave her advice on how to text.

 

She said, _“It’s hard enough to know whether someone is sincere through text. You have to put in as much enthusiasm and playfulness to make it work!”_ Wheein’s messed up body clock often meant that they had frequent late night chats.

 

This conversation they had was at four in the morning.

 

_“Plus, if you’re going to make this believable, you have to feel the love through your texts. Throw in emojis and cheesy stuff.”_

 

Damn it. She needed to work on her emoji game, then.

 

\----

 

“Are you seeing someone, Yongsun ah?”

 

She looks up from her phone, almost dropping it in her surprise. Her boss, Bitnara, glances down at her with a motherly smile. She is a woman in her early thirties, with a quirky sense of fashion and was born in the US. Yoon Bitnara started the advertising company after she graduated and Yongsun was the first to get hired as her illustrator.

 

Fast forward a few years and she is now the company’s art director.

 

Smiling, she looks up, running a hand through her shirt to straighten the invisible creases and in this process put her phone down the table. “I suppose you can say that.”

 

She did not plan to come out to her co-workers today and the pricking sensation in her fingers start to grow due to her bubbling anxiousness.

 

“You’ve been looking much more happier,” she comments, genuine smile on her red lips. “I know a relationship isn’t supposed to be the only source of someone’s happiness but I’m happy that you have found someone.”

 

“Ah...well she makes me really happy.”

 

_It must be because I changed my skincare routine...hmm..._

 

“How did you meet, hm?” Her boss is already leaning her hip against her desk, sipping her coffee with eyes that sparkled in curiosity.

 

“Oh...we met while she was on vacation here for a whole year. We uhm…” Yongsun pretends to look through her e-mail as she gathers her thoughts. When she, Wheein and Hyejin were forming the plan, it was much easier. But now that she needs to actually say this to another person, it sounds ridiculous. Who would buy this? “She came back a few times before we really got together.”

 

“Oh my. You’re in an LDR? That must have been hard on you both,” her boss comments sympathetically. “May I ask who the lucky guy is?”

 

 _Why are heterosexuals quick to assume it’s a guy?_ Yongsun thinks.

 

“It’s a girl,” Yongsun clarifies quickly before the little bit of courage leaves her. “Her name is Byulyi.” Her voice shakes as she says her appfriend’s name.

 

Will she be fired? Some people still fired gay people right?

 

Will her co-workers shun her?

 

Is the past going to repeat itself again?

 

She meets her boss’ eyes with her own the whole time. She had hoped that she didn’t hear it, but the surprise on her features say otherwise. Yongsun readies herself for what’s to come, hands balled into fists on her lap.

 

“I always knew there was a reason why you never looked at guys for longer than three seconds when we go clubbing with the team. I thought you were already in a relationship, really. But now I know the real reason why.”

 

Yongsun’s eyes widen in surprise, lips painted in a soft pink parting slightly as she holds her breath. She can’t believe someone noticed. Not her boss, who always seem to busy with work.

 

Not believing, she doesn’t speak and let her go on about her own sexuality. Yongsun expected the typical story of friends daring her to kiss their other girl friends or something of the sort but not that she had been in a few relationships with women back in the US.

 

“It’s harder to find lesbians here. Especially lipstick ones. Don’t you agree? Unless you prefer the butch type?”

 

This is the kind of conversation she hasn’t had with anyone aside from Wheein and Hyejin. She makes a mental note to introduce her boss to her two closest friends while giving short replies, still in shock.

 

After agreeing to have lunch with her later (more like Bitnara forcing her), Yongsun is found staring at her computer screen. The realization that she just came out to her boss still hasn’t settled in and she replays the scene in her mind multiple times until it does.

 

As if on cue, her phone vibrates. She picks it up, looking at the notification.

 

 **- I hope work is going well, unnie!!** **Remember to eat on time!!**

                                   -  **I love you ❤**

 

****- Can I call you on Monday?** **

 

 _Ah right._ The voice mail feature will be activated on Monday.

 

                                   - I already ate! Thank you for worrying, Byul ah ♡.♡ Have you eaten?

 

 ** **-**** I love you too ;3; And of course! You can call me anytime.

 

 

Yongsun bites the inside of her cheek to hide her excitement. She feels slightly giddy too, a feeling she hasn’t felt in a while. Although she can’t admit this to her friends in fear of being teased. She’s always been easy to please.

 

Work is bearable today and Byulyi provides an excellent distraction. Sometimes her replies are repetitive and short. But she bears with it for the less common replies that have her heart racing for a little while. Harmless fluttering in her stomach. Harmless warmth spreading through her body

 

Bitnara keeps checking up on her. She wears a knowing smile whenever their gazes meet.

 

Lunch was pleasant and less awkward than she thought it would be. Yongsun is enlightened with the ins and outs of queer culture in Seoul. She didn’t think her boss would be clubbing every Friday, since Yongsun always thought that she was interested in other things.

 

“We should go out sometime. Bring your girlfriend along,” she offers with a smile once they step out of the restaurant.

 

Laughing awkwardly, Yongsun says she’ll try, but didn’t promise anything.

 

On her way home, she sits in the bus alone while listening to music. Usually, she would be comfortable like this. But something compels her to search around the internet for someone called Moon Byulyi. She finds several articles on a famous girl group member but nothing more than this.

 

Ah.. At least that eliminates the possibility of her appfriend being real. Which is just the kind of wake up call she needs after today.

 

\-----

 

The days pass and the only thing about her routine that changes is that she’s now on her phone more frequently. Wheein has stopped checking up on her, busy with planning an out of town trip with Hyejin to celebrate their anniversary.

 

Yongsun doesn’t mind. Oddly enough, _c☆rrot_ helps her with her loneliness.

 

Before she knows it, it’s Sunday and she’s comfortably lounging around in her pyjamas after showering. The gym was packed with people today who were oddly in the mood to speak. She had increased the volume of her music to shoo away unwanted small talk from guys.

 

Still, they were persistent, wanting to make friends. She makes sure to still be polite but show her disinterest. They realized a bit too late but they let her be to her weights.

 

After her workout, she showers and mixes an oatmeal protein shake while flipping idly through the channels on her TV.

 

 _Five minutes til twelve am. Five minutes til Monday_.

 

_I’ll hear her voice today…_

 

_I wonder how well they programmed the voice message function of the app…_

 

_Ah… I’m anticipating too much._

 

“She’s not going to call at twelve midnight. Go to sleep,” she whispers to herself with a straw in between her teeth.

 

Yet she waits. Just because she can. Just because there is nothing else to do at almost twelve am that Sunday.

 

The clock ticks in tune with her heartbeats.

 

_Fifty four._

 

_Fifty five._

 

_Fifty six._

 

_Fifty seven._

 

_Fifty eight._

 

_Fifty nine._

 

_Sixty._

 

_Tick. Tock._

 

_RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!_

 

Yongsun jumps up from her sitting position and almost drops her oatmea shake on the floor. Her eyes, once sleepy and tired, were now bright and alert. She looks at her vibrating phone and sees Byulyi’s profile picture flashing on the screen.

 

She stares for far too long that she forgets to answer as if it’s the first time she’s seen it. The call ends without her being able to answer.

 

“KIM YONGSUN, YOU USELESS LESBIAN!!!!” She yells to herself and collapses on her sofa, kicking her feet in the air in her frustration as she yelled.

 

She calms down shortly after, panting a little. She couldn’t believe that she missed that phone call. She could’ve... she could’ve finally heard Byulyi’s voice. After messaging her every day for the last week, curiosity had killed her. She waited and waited. Only to be so stupid.

 

No wonder no one wanted to date her. She never does anything right. Not even a virtual relationship.

 

Weakly, she picks up her phone from the floor and unlocks it to tell Wheein she missed the voice call.

 

**One (1) voice call available.**

 

Tapping the notification on her screen, she presses her phone to her ear, playing the voice call.

 

_Ahem, ahem! Hello? It’s already midnight! Did I call at the right time or are you asleep? I hope you’re sleeping well and wake up prettily with lots of energy. I actually don’t know what to say… I just thought of calling. My heart is beating really loudly. I wish you enjoy tomorrow as well. I’ll make sure to send you messages!! Mwah, mwah, mwah! Goodnight. I love you._

 

“Be still, my fragile gay heart,” she whispers as the voice message ends. She has the option to replay it whenever she wishes, she realizes when a button appears beside it.

 

They hired quite a skilled voice actress. Yongsun hates voices that are too high pitched or too feminine. She likes raspy, and deep voices that remind her of hot chocolate and warm blankets. It’s odd but Yongsun could feel...the sincerity and how shy Byulyi sounded even if she is so flirtatious when they text.

 

Yongsun decides she likes Byulyi’s voice. So maybe she will replay the message before she sleeps tonight or tomorrow mornings.

 

She calls Wheein to update her on the voice mail, hoping the younger is still awake.

 

Wheein answers, barely managing to croak out a coherent greeting. It sounded something like, “What the fuck?”

 

“I--- I got the call today,” Yongsun says immediately.

 

She hears rustling in the background and her grip on her phone tightens in her excitement to tell her everything.

 

“You got a call?” Wheein asks, a loud yawn following after. “How was it?”

 

Yongsun hugs her knees to her chest, resting her cheek against her knees. “Her voice is nice…” She smiles subconsciously, amused.

 

“Yeah, Byulyi’s voice is nice…” Wheein mumbles.

 

“They really made the app well,” Yongsun continues, not catching what Wheein said.. “I wasn’t expecting a real person’s voice.”

 

“The maker...voice…”

 

Yongsun blinks, eyebrows furrowing. “Maker? Voice?”

 

The next few seconds in, Wheein is fast asleep on the other line, her heavy breathing and snores in between the only thing Yongsun receives as a reply. A sigh slips past her lips, ending the call.

 

Going to bed with the excitement of interacting with Byulyi through the new feature, she sends her a quick text before drifting off.

 

                                   - It was nice to hear your voice before sleeping. Have a good night’s rest ❤

 

\-----

 

She did have a good night’s rest. Which is surprising, considering how much her phone rang. She had gotten used to the sounds, it seems.

 

 

 ****- unnie…** **  
**- unnieeeee~** **  
** **- i can’t sleep because i keep thinking about how your voice would sound…** **  
** **- even if i enjoyed today, it would be better if i heard your voice once.** **just once!** **  
** **- were you happy because i called?** **  
** **- i was happy thinking that you’ll smile because of me. it made today even better.** **  
** **- today too, unnie….** **  
** **- smile a lot** ❤❤ **  
**

 

 

Yongsun stares at the messages again, not used to receiving such sweet words. She remembers how she was the one to do this, excessively. A familiar warm feeling settles in her stomach, and it brings a sad smile to her face.

 

_I wouldn’t mind dating Byulyi, had she been a real person._

 

The week begins again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is long due. i actually have rewritten this chapter so many times that it's ridiculous. i hope the update isn't too bad. things are going to start getting even more in depth after this chapter. please look forward to it!


	3. ☆

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yongsun starts wishing for things that may be impossible. With the wedding close, how will Yongsun use the app to her advantage?

The voice mail messages soon become the one minute things that lull Yongsun to sleep. She knows it’s not possible to actually engage in a normal conversation with Byulyi over the phone, however the ringing sound still makes her feel excited and she answers like a fool.

 

Tonight, she, Wheein and Hyejin decide to visit their favourite wine bar in Gangnam, clad in their best get up. Yongsun especially is daring tonight, donning a cherry red dress with a halter top made out of sequins. It has a slit to the side, fabric flowy to show just a hint of leg. No jewellery decorated her skin other than a pair of dainty dangling diamond earrings, her hair in a casual updo to show off her slender neck.

 

She doesn’t know what possessed her to wear such a dress tonight when they’re not even clubbing. Though that could quickly change, should she propose that to her friends.

 

“Who _are_ you and what did you do to our Yongsun _unnie_?” Wheein teases, raising a brow once she approaches them at their table. She is dressed in a casual cropped sleeveless shirt and leather shorts that hugged her frame, her usually straight hair curled into gentle beach waves. She wears her ring that Hyejin gifted her for their anniversary and a long minimalistic silver necklace for accessories. The highlights of her whole outfit were the cute bootlets with a killer heel, making her look taller.

 

Hyejin laughs, sultry and a little tipsy, leaning her cheek against Wheein’s bare shoulder. They must have conducted a small pre-game before they met up at their favourite bar. Her friend was wearing a sparkly champagne colored halter neck dress with her back completely exposed, stopping at the top of her bum. She was wearing her hair down as well, her skin glowing against the lights.

 

Yongsun shakes her head, taking a seat adjacent Wheein. “I just felt like dressing up.”

 

Wheein waves a waiter over, gesturing towards Yongsun. “Really? Looks like someone’s in love, you’re glowing.”

  


“In love? With who?” the older asks, ordering a white sangria with extra apples, looking away.

 

“With Byulyi!” Hyejin interjects, sitting up so she can look at Yongsun. “ _Unnie_ likes Byulyi.”

 

She resists laughing, because they weren’t wrong. “It’s just an app, guys. You guys have been saying the same thing for weeks.”

 

“Oh we know. But it must be a hell of an app for you to change this drastically. Don’t you notice the difference in your looks?” Wheein asks, Yongsun seeing the genuine question in her eyes even in the dark.

 

_Change?_

 

All she did was dress better, giving her old clothes and shoes away for charity. She updated her skincare routine, too, just because she saw her favourite set go on sale. Of course she’s still working out regularly but nothing else really changed.

 

At least, in her opinion.

 

“I’m just getting ready for this weekend. You guys do know that my sister’s wedding is in two days, right? And you’re going, right?”

 

“We know, we know,” the two say in unison.

 

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Wheein adds. “Plus, who will accompany you while your sister is having the time of her life?

 

What did change, is Yongsun not updating the two (she mostly updates Wheein, because she had a strange feeling Hyejin wasn’t that interested unless it was to tease her) about what’s happening in the app. Other than the selca that made yongsun wish much more that Byulyi is real, her replies are becoming more… standard.

 

It’s like Yongsun was truly talking to program, rather than a person. Occasionally, byulyi would say the same sentence twice after Yongsun responds and it makes her realize that this whole thing is actually just a huge joke. Her self-esteem plummets greatly and seeing this, her boss immediately jumps to the conclusion that things aren’t working out between her and Byulyi. She makes it a mission to set her up with the queer girls she knows.

 

“So did you go on a date already?” Hyejin asks, picking up a cold french fry and dipping it into the ketchup.

 

Yongsun sighs. “I hope so? Bitna unnie is trying her best to set me up with someone named Kang Seulgi? But she’s so busy with her modelling stuff so she hasn’t responded to her calls or texts.”

 

“Seul…gi?” Hyejin asks, sharing a look with Wheein.

 

“Yes…” Yongsun says slowly, taking a long sip of her sangria. “Why? You guys know her?”

 

“Do we know her, alright.” The two snicker, Wheein fishing her phone from her pocket to type furiously.

 

She’s not quite following, really. And when she prompts the two to tell her what is going on, she’s told to just wait.  Because of that, leaves the two to whisper to just take a good look around the bar.

 

It’s one of the hidden gems of Gangnam, truly. And a cozy one, albeit a bit more expensive than the usual bars they frequent otherwise. One of the key points of the bar is the stunning view of Seoul and the fact that most of their wine come from abroad. It also boasts of a unique selection of plum wine, rice wine and more that the owner’s family made themselves. Some even date back to decades, the taste exquisite and worth the price tag.

 

The good wine, overall ambience and stunning interior dominated by well-preserved wooden antique pieces are one of the things that drew the group to make this their little hang out spot. Usually, they visit around the third week of the month.  Hyejin and Wheein often forget that she exists so if she didn’t push to meet them or call them, they would be stuck in their own little world.

 

Yongsun only snaps out of her reverie when she sees a gorgeous girl approach their table. She was wearing a form fitting turtleneck dress, revealing gorgeous legs that Yongsun looks at for too long with pumps decorated with Swarovski crystals. It flatters her overall simple yet elegant look, and it’s safe to say that they were expensive. Or maybe she just made them look so.

 

“Seulgi _unnie_!!!” Wheein yells, standing up to run towards the girl.

 

Yongsun’s feet are planted to the small area she is standing in, unsure whether to approach the girl or not, fine beads of sweat running down the corner of her head. she’s met a lot of gorgeous girls (girls are gorgeous, in general) but not one this close. She’s always thought they were out of her reach. Even just being friends with them seem like a distant dream.

 

“….Seulgi _unnie_ meet Yongsun _unnie_!”

 

Graciously, Seulgi smiles at her, bowing her head in greeting once Wheein let her go. Hyejin laughs and plants a chaste kiss on Seulgi’s cheek as a greeting. “It’s nice to meet you. I’ve been told that you work under Bitna _unnie_?”

 

She looked so cute when she smiled that Yongsun’s face flushes, bowing back to greet her. “Y-Yes. She uhm…mentioned you to me. Once. Or thrice. Well. She wanted the two of us to meet and all so uhm…”

 

They continue their conversation once they were all seated, Wheein clinging onto Hyejin’s arm like a pup. Seulgi orders a moscato, and after the waiter had stepped out to get her order, she leans close to Yongsun to pick up where they left off.

 

“Thrice, you said? For what reason?” Seulgi asks, voice loud enough to carry over the smooth saxophone. “My phone got stolen so I didn’t have the chance to get her number.”

 

Yongsun nods, not one to lie really. “Yeah, she wanted us to meet. I…”

 

“She was setting us up,” the other says in a matter-of-fact tone.

 

The older’s cheeks heat up further, almost as bright as her dress. “Yes. In a friendly way, for sure.”

 

_The gay gods may shoot me now._

 

“Why not otherwise?”

 

Yongsun looks up and meets Seulgi’s piercing gaze and adorable smile. it was clear that she was only curious, and definitely not playing around or queer baiting which made Yongsun feel warm all over.

 

“I have a girlfriend,” she blurts out, just as she feels the buzzing in her purse.

 

If Yongsun’s answer disappointed Seulgi, it did not show. She laughs kind-heartedly, even apologizing for being so upfront. She promises it’s because she’s had one too many drinks, that’s why.

 

Yongsun makes sure to laugh, although she feels guilt stab at her stomach. Before she can explain further – maybe say that they can hang out after a month, just until after her sister’s wedding because she convinced them she had a girlfriend named Byulyi -- the waiter had arrived with the other’s moscato and Hyejin starts initiating conversation.

 

Yongsun drinks her sangria in one go, leaving the apples behind and excuses herself, feeling a bit dizzy. Whether it was because of the alcohol or Seulgi’s attention, she doesn’t know. She just knows she needs some air so she steps out of the bar and takes the elevator downstairs.

 

\----

 

Once outside, tonight's chilly wind breeze greets her, sending a faint tingle down her spine and she realizes she forgot her cardigan.

 

There were a lot of people tonight, since the weekend is near. Well-dressed and beautiful individuals, both locals and foreigners alike, make the streets look alive. The newest party songs sound off from one club door after the other being opened. Amongst the chaos, Yongsun walks slowly, in a daze.

 

She realizes that she truly is a useless lesbian.

 

Byulyi isn’t even real, yet here she is fully committing herself to the role of a loyal girlfriend. The opportunity to perhaps start something with Seulgi was presented right in front of her yet she ruined it. Now feels stupid, dressing up for tonight and taking selfies to send over to her through the app, receiving an “I love you, unnie~” response that she knows consists of numbers and codes.

 

As if Byulyi is a real person who can see her , appreciate and want her.

Ever since she was young, she had gotten used to merely supporting her peers when it comes to their relationships. She dated, for sure, and even thought she was serious at one point with a sunbae from the same university. He was pleasant looking and interesting enough that she had fun getting to know him. Only for him to tell her that he thought she was boring.

 

_“You cling on to your idea of a perfect relationship and keep forcing it on me. You’re not even that interesting to keep around.”_

 

To make matters worse, it was her fault. She was only keeping him around to escape the fact that she was more attracted to women.

 

Now, in her late twenties, she’s losing hope every day that she’ll be just as – if not more – happy as her sister who’s about to get married.

 

The nearest convenience store is her chosen place for refuge, and Yongsun sits in the farthest corner facing small minions figures in bright yellow while eating ramen.

 

Her phone continues to vibrate on the table, and she finishes chewing before answering the call.

 

“You finally answered!”

 

_Speak of the devil._

 

“Oh, Yonghee ah. What’s up?” she asks, feigning nonchalance.

 

She hears giggling and hushed whispers in the background. “Me and my friends are having our bachelorette party tonight while Hyunwoo _oppa_ has his bachelor party. And guess who got featured in his insta story!”

 

“You girls have fun! And stay safe! Remember—“

 

“Eric _oppa_! Your first love!”

 

_Oh hell no._

 

“ **WHAT—** “ Yongsun almost slips from the stool she’s sitting on, her heart ringing in her ears. “But I thought he’s studying still in the US! What’s he doing there?”

 

More giggling. “Apparently, my honey invited him to the wedding. They met up two days ago suddenly and he said yes! So he’s going to be there. Isn’t that great, unnie? Maybe you can rekindle your old flame!”

 

_The flame of a lesbian woman’s guilt, she means._

 

“Great!” she replies with enough fake enthusiasm. This night keeps getting worse. “But really, i don’t think that’s possible. You go have fun and don’t meddle in your older sister’s love life.”

 

_He hates me. Why would he even want to see me?_

 

“That’s not what he told my honey! But we’ll see! See you this weekend, _unnie_! I love you!”

 

The line got cut off before Yongsun manages to ask, and she’s about to throw her phone to the side when she sees **c☆rrot’s** notification.

 

**One (1) voice call available.**

 

Odd. Voicemails were usually sent every twelve hours. When she wakes up in the morning, and before she falls asleep. The app already sent one at midnight, before she decides to meet up with Hyejin and Wheein. Perhaps it was a bug?

Still, Yongsun opens it and presses the phone against her ear. Nothing can be heard from the other line other than static, but after a while, she hears the sweetest words anyone has ever told her and meant it.

 

**_You look beautiful tonight, unnie._ **

 

Despite herself, she smiles but quickly feels the wave of disappointment. Again, this must be one of the app’s programmed responses. Again, she is compelled to type out her next message to Byulyi, not even knowing if this will help her feel better about her situation.

 

 ** **-**** Really? Which parts of my dress do you like the most, Byul ah?

 

It truly is a long shot, to expect a normal response. So Yongsun decides to send a message to both of her friends, informing them that she feels a bit sick and that she wants to go home early.

 

They don’t respond. Yongsun doesn’t expect them to, since Wheein hates being ditched. At least they have Seulgi to look after them. She needs a bit of time for herself now just to contemplate on her life choices.

 

After finishing her ramen, she walks a bit to find an area where there were more taxis. Around this time, there were fewer taxis in the area. It takes her a while to find one, and the trains were not operating at this hour. Thankfully, one stops just in front of her and she hops inside.

 

The driver shows disapproval at her choice of outfit for the night. It shows way too much skin, he says. That’s something you can only show your husband. Yongsun bites back the words that build on the tip of her tongue, not really wanting to cause commotion since he’d been so kind so far.

 

The cab stops in front of her apartment complex, and she pays using her T-money card. Which she needs to fill up since the cab ride took most of the remaining money inside.

 

Thankful for the elevator, she takes off her heels once she is inside and pads barefoot across the hallway towards her apartment. She hasn’t cleaned much, spending way too much time getting ready to bother to do so. Her bed is even a bigger mess, clothes and shoes scattered on top but she finds herself too tired to even bother washing her face.

 

Face first against her pillows and hugging her favourite plushie, Yongsun drifts off to sleep.

 

In her sleep, Yongsun doesn’t notice the ringing coming from **c☆rrot**. It leaves a notification of a voice message being available but as the night turns to morning, she will find the voice message gone as if it wasn’t there at all.

 

**\-----**

 

The next morning, Yongsun wakes up normal. She didn’t drink enough the night before to actually have a hangover, though the same can’t be said for her two friends.

 

Her first instinct is to check her phone, but she decides against it once she recalled her thoughts from last night.

 

_It’ll just be the same messages over again… Why bother?_

 

Instead, she decides to wash up the makeup from last night and take a warm shower. This morning’s breakfast consisted of whole wheat waffles, maple syrup and unsalted butter and a cup of chamomile tea. Despite the urge, she ignores the messages on her phone.

 

After eating breakfast, she starts to move around the house and start packing. Tomorrow is the day before her sister’s wedding. She’s expected to be home tonight, although she truly wishes she can just stop by tomorrow instead and make a quick dash back to Seoul after the wedding.

 

Especially now that Eric is going to be there, she knows Eunkwang will be as well. It’s a recipe for disaster and she doesn’t know how she will survive.

 

Though knowing her parents and their obvious favouritism, her leaving early would only lead to family drama. Already she can hear her mother’s dramatic sniffling and the words she might say to her. Her sister would be upset, and who knows how they’ll react when she comes out?

 

Shaking her head, she also shakes off the thoughts that run through her mind. This weekend is going to be fine. So long as Wheein and Hyejin are there, she won’t be alone.

 

“Speaking of…” she murmurs, fishing her phone from her pocket to dial Wheein.

 

She answers at the second ring, which is highly unusual. “What’s up? I’ve actually been meaning to call you.”

 

“Do you guys want to go together?”

 

The two were supposed to leave tonight so they weren’t really supposed to come with her. But Yongsun doesn’t feel like travelling alone.

 

“Can’t, have some last minute things to finish. Plus, I haven’t picked out a gift for your sister. But aside from that, I wanted to call you regarding c☆rrot.”

 

Yongsun raises a brow. “What of it?”

 

There’s silence for five seconds before Wheein responds. “You need to read your messages or else the app will crash then you need to start all over. My friend who’s part of the development team just wanted me to remind you.”

 

“O-Oh…” Right, I haven’t read anything since last night… “Okay, I’ll do that before I leave.”

 

“Good!” Wheein says, sounding much more perkier than necessary. “Have a safe trip then. I’ll ask Hyejin to text you when we’re on our way.”

 

“Alright, you guys too.”

 

Yongsun sighs after the call, navigating to the app. She didn’t even know she had its notifications off.

 

**Seven (7) message/s available.**

 

 

 ******-** Unnie… I miss you a lot.** **  
****-** Did I do something to make you angry? You aren’t responding to me…** ****  
****-** If I did, I’m really sorry. (´；д；`)** ****  
****-** I’ve been busy lately so I haven’t been the best girlfriend.** ****  
****-** Will you forgive me, please?** ****  
****-** I love you, okay?** ****  
****-** （ ; д;）♡** **  
**

 

 

“She can’t seriously….”

 

With a sigh, Yongsun sits down on her couch, reading the messages all over again. She was “busy”? Is this another non-standard reply to make it seem like the are really dating?

 

Before she even stops herself, she is already typing up a reply. She’s not even one to hold grudges for very long.

 

 **-** It’s okay, Byul ah. ♥  
**-** I understand… You know I love you too.  
**-** After this weekend, we should talk more. I’ll send pictures!

 

She stares at the messages she sent, in awe at how fake it sounds to her. The closer it gets to the actual wedding day, the more she realizes how stupid this all is. But, at the end of the day, this is the most convenient way to do it. She knows that if she had asked anyone (for example, Seulgi) she would have grown attached without the certainty that they will feel the same. It's that part that (always) scares her. 

 

“Maybe I shouldn’t have done this after all.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you a ton for the support from my recently published chapter, guys! because of that, i thought i'd finish this one up as soon as possible. i hope it's to your liking. 
> 
> sidenote: to avoid confusion, neither eric nor eunkwang is the guy from the flashback. the reason why yongsun says they might hate her is because she ran away from eric after they made out and almost had sex. yonghee says eric's yongsun's first love because eric was the first guy yongsun was with and they were friends beforehand. eunkwang was a dude she thought she had a crush on but when eunkwang confessed, she rejected him. (she realized she was gay shortly after). 
> 
> do you think i should have the flashback dude will drop by in the next chapters? [ eye emojis ]


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